Consumed by the dark
No matter your age or gender, sexual violence is far beyond any type of physical injury. The result of any sexual assault can be life shattering. Everything you thought you knew becomes questionable. Above all, you begin to lose trust in everyone and “triggers” are everywhere.
You begin to look and think of yourself differently. You feel dirty. By the time you realize it, shame has become a second skin. Your mind starts to wander and you begin to ask yourself:
“Why me?”
“What did I do?”
“Did I say or do anything to make them do this?”
“Why didn’t I speak up?”
“Why didn’t I fight back?”
“How come my body respond that way?”
“Did I really like it?”
“Maybe I did want it.”
“Maybe they were right.”
You start to justify the situation to make it seem like it was okay.
You then begin our journey down the road with the enemy wrapped up in us. Not even knowing you just invited the enemy to hold your hand and cover you with his lies. You become so vulnerable and the enemy tricks you. He dresses up as the nicest, most sweetest little lamb that wants you to leave the pack and go chasing the cutest butterfly. But little do you know, he is leading you down a road filled with poison ivy and hungry wolves.
By the time you realize it, you have drifted so far away from the truth of GOD. It may even seem impossible to come back home. A lot of times you feel that you have become too “dirty” and GOD won’t love you. That you won’t ever be good enough. Please DO NOT cover yourself with these lies!
You are loved beyond all measures!
“I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love!” Jeremiah 31:3 MSG
In Luke 15:4-7, JESUS is telling a parable about a man who has 100 sheep and 1 of them gets lost. He then leaves the 99 in the wilderness to go and search for his lost sheep. When he finds it, he joyfully carries the sheep over his shoulders and takes it home. As he gets home, he calls his friends over to rejoice with him for he has found his lost sheep. JESUS then goes on to say that GOD is just like the Good Shepherd who rejoices when one of his lost children repent and return to HIM.
This parable hits home for me because I was there. I was lost. I had strayed so far away after the abuse and hurt I had in my life. The world was a dark and scary place. With sorrow and regret as deep as the ocean, GOD met me. HE reached out to me and pulled me out of the muk and grime and HE wiped me clean. HE then carried me over HIS shoulders and brought me back home!
There is light
I want every single person who is reading this to know that it is not too late. You are not too lost or too dirty. Where there is darkness, HE shines HIS light on a path back to HIM. GOD loves you so much, and HE longs for you to come home. HE wants to carry you over HIS shoulders and rejoice for you are where you belong. There is nothing too big or small that HE cannot handle.
I know it hurts. I know the pain and the burdens and how it holds you down. But HE wants to take it all away. HE wants replace it with joy and love. There is freedom in the name of JESUS!
LORD GOD, I just pray for the one who is reading this right now. I pray that YOU will meet them right here, right now. I pray that YOU will carry them back home to the place where they belong. May they know how loved they are. That YOU do not see someone covered in shame and regret, but YOU see a victorious child of GOD who is valued more than they could ever imagine. LORD may YOU fill them with YOUR joy. Cover them with YOUR healing love. In JESUS’ holy name. Amen!
We are here to help
I know this journey is not an easy one, and we are here to help. That is why you are reading these words. We are here every step of the way for your healing journey. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us. Whether it be for prayer, or to let us know that GOD has received another child into HIS kingdom.
Remember you are loved, you are valued, and you are not alone!